Benevolence

I really didn’t want to be here. 

It was my first day off since my car “exploded in my face.” The airbags at least. 

I hadn’t slowed down enough to get the blood pressure relaxed or quench the “fight or flight” adrenaline that kept squirting into my veins. 

And I was sitting outside the church offices asking for help with money. 

I really didn’t want to be here. 

I had spent months working and saving and auto-withdrawing to more savings to prevent myself from sitting here. I had to be 10 when Papa showed me the miracle of compounding interest. I counted all my receipts from my chore money then hoarded my paper route money until I bought a bike … to use on my paper route. Talk about reinvesting in the business! After Carlisle and the $6 dollar grocery run, I worked hard to always have money saved. When working fulltime, I set up savings account after savings account with auto-withdrawals for each so I didn’t have to remember.

Then I dipped into my savings for Shine. 

Then I quit my job. 

Then the part-time holiday hours disappeared. 

It’d been over a month in my new job. I’d borrowed family money for my tires and was just getting my head above water to get rid of the credit card bill for good. 

Now Sandy was gone. And I needed help. 

It took a lot out of me to sit here, in the same seat as people who I judged for making foolish decisions. I was better than them I thought. And surely I would never need to ask for benevolence. 

Boy was I wrong. 

Who did I think I was? Am I exempt from tragedy? Does anyone asking for benevolence wake up one morning a year before and make it a new year’s resolution? I DON’T THINK SO!

My realization?

We can save like a squirel, invest like a rabbit, and buy insurance like a turtle but we are all human. Stuff happens. Spouses grow cold. Parents die. Friends reject. 

Just because I have something tucked away today doesn’t mean that tomorrow it won’t disapper like the “mysterious stock of Enron.” Don’t ever depend on money for your security. You’ll never have enough for you to sleep like a baby. In fact more will probably make it worse. 

Our only security must be Jesus Christ. He is our rock and shelter in the storm. 

He is our Life in the driest of places. I’m trying to remember He is all I need. 

Will you join me?