"Yes sir" & the Psychology of Respect

"Yes, sir." 

A phrase both infinitely helpful and significantly underused.

Useful for both casual affirmations and expressing the understanding of difficult verdicts. 

Men thrive on Respect. 

It is miracle grow for their soul like coffee and conversation is for us girls. Here’s a couple ways to practice a respectful “Yes sir” in everyday situations.

First Example:

"Meg, can you grab more lightbulbs while you’re in the back?" 

"Yes sir!"

I could respond “yes/yeah/sure/whatever” or I could use this helpful phrase to add respect to my interactions with my manager. Like a little salt makes the food taste better, a little respect makes the friendship smoother. 

It reminds him he’s in charge, he’s the boss and I’m happy to help however I can. 

Second Example: 

It’s Christmas week. The store doesn’t have enough hands on deck and I didn’t know how to make the schedule to accomodate our lack of personnal. This is my first Christmas as a manager so I have no comparisons. I don’t realize we’re short staffed. 

Three months earlier, “Robert” scribbled a few hours in and called it a day. No calculations. Nothing. Just impatience. 

Robert’s impatience and my ignorance meet reality the day after Christmas. They don’t call it Boxing day for nothing. 

When I saw him throw papers in the air I knew it was going to be a long day. He proceeded to cut an hour and half of time off my close earlier in the week. Paranoid about payroll motivated him but I wanted pay for all my forty hours. Interactions ground as smoothly as a knife scraping glass. One minute he was angry, the next he was docile. 

I didn’t leave until he was happy. Otherwise I knew it would carry over to the next day. I worked 11 hours.

That is a good situation to use “Yes, sir.” 

Was “Robert” commiting payroll fraud? Absolutely. Was it his fault for not hiring parttimers? Yes again. 

Was I in the right for respecting him anyways, albeit through gritted teeth?

YES. 

Respecting a man while he’s making big mistakes gives you credibility later.

A week later we were on good terms and two months after he left the company to start his own business. 

It took a few months with the new manager to get over the paranoia he’d given me. 

He offered me a job a year later but I wisely turned him down. 

I know better than to walk back into an abusive situation. If I were in that situation again I would start looking for work immediately. 

"Be as Wise as a Serpent and as Innocent as a Dove." -Jesus in the Gospel of Mathew 

Always let them think you’re a dove … before you silently back away and disappear forever. Unless they acknowledge their mistake and earn your trust again. But that must be very intentional indeed. 

Big Hair & Boring Days

It’s like my hair has a better understanding of life than I do.

I don’t always feel like big 80’s hair when I wake up to it most days. Neither do I feel able to do everything I’m purposed for. 

Most days I pin it in a knot, repress myself to “normal,” punch in/out and go home. 

Today I let it loose 80’s style. I tried to balance it with a blazer but I still felt inwardly univalent. 

Why do I have so many exorbitant big dreams? How will I ever do all of them AND wash my dishes?!

It’s like the “day-in/day-out” is trying to steal my dreams! Don’t you feel that way?! Like “When is ‘Someday’”? 

Last week I meand to write twice, vlog, tackle my laundry … but no. And now it’s this week midweek. A mostly fresh page. 

My resolve? 

Keep trying. 

Pick the next bite sized nibble and add it to the incremental scale of complete. 

I hope you’ll do the same. 

Don’t let boring days keep you from your dreams. 

Kissing & Entering

We eat lipstick. Not a lot, but some. And Angelina & I probably take in more than most but what’s my point?

You can’t put something on your lips without it entering into you. 

So why kiss?

I’ve connected to enough men via hugs & hand-holding to know how easily someone can enter through your pores.

Do we have to kiss them? 

I’m of the mind I will kiss my husband … when he becomes my husband. I want that “you may now kiss the bride to mean something.” 

Earning my Unconditional Respect, proving himself trustworthy to provide for me & my children, and having restrained his passion thus far he has now earned and received permission to enter into me!

Permission from my father, our pastor and God. 

This thing is not to be taken lightly. 

It’s not just a kiss … 

[to be continued]

Moments of Silence

Sometimes I need to be quiet & listen. 

This is not that time. 

Hiding in my room, fearfully avoiding communication that can only lead to gain is NOT the time to stay silent.

I need to make a phone call. 

And yet my throat aches. 

Aching, contracting, tied up with emotions … I don’t know how else to describe it. It’s almost like when something hurts me emotionally but my body doesn’t know how to release it yet. Like a throat muscle cramp when I need to cry. You know what I mean?

I get it other times too … when I start talking to a guy I’m unsure of and feel the need to run away but don’t know how to. Especially when the unsureness is valid. 

Moments of silence. The better ones end with an “excuse me.”

If I feel uncertain at work. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed I get paranoid. 

"If I don’t do this exactly right/speak up for the policy/speak up for the employee am I going to get axed?"

The moments of silence unnerve me.

I wish tripping over words was a fun as skipping by a stream. Although in rocky Upstate NY it’s more like climbing. I guess talking is that way too. 

Ever feel 5 years old but need to speak like an adult? 

Moments of silence … when I need to be asking questions. 

And so I pick up the phone and dial before I can overthink myself out of it. I listen to the ring and pray “Oh Dear God Help!” I cycle through my head the heart things I need to find words for … 

I get the voicemail. 

Monologing! Fantastic! I sit up straight. With confidence I say “Hello, this is Meg Davis …” I update. I thank. I own my mistake. I appreciate. I inform. “Hope you’re having a great weekend and I’ll talk to you soon!” 

I said my monologue, I said it right.

Now I can sit and write. 

And yet I need to yawn the ache away. 

Maybe one day it will go away.

But even when my throat is tight, 

I promise I will speak despite!

Taking God’s Holiness Seriously

Instant death.

As “The Armchair of God on Earth,” the Ark of the Covenant was carried with extreme decorum and ceremony for good reason. Anyone who who disrespected, touched, or even looked at it DIED. This happened more than once …

When wandering in the desert, the priests carried it with gold plated poles so as not to lay a finger on it. When the Israelites pitched the tabernacle for the last time, the High Priest entered the Holy of Holies only once a year to make atonement for the sins of the nation … with a rope tied to his foot so if he died they could drag him out and bury his body. Our loving merciful God of the New Testament emphasized His requirements for holiness in the New Testament. 

Hefty stuff.

Today, we as Christians carry within us the Holy Presence of God.

Which is the Greater Honor?

Bearing the Ark of the Covenant or bearing the Holy Spirit?

The Holy Spirit. Obviously. 

So when someone claiming to be a Christian casually disgraces something God deems Holy - I shudder. 

Going back to the Ark of the Covenant, here’s a story from 1 Samuel: 

The Ark of the Covenant once made a tour outside of Israel. 

The sons of Eli the priest thought a “Holy Gold Box” was a lucky charm for the them not getting their butts kicked as a consequence for living lives of flagrant selfish disdain for the Holy God they were called to serve (idiots!). The country followed their example in not living according to God’s laws. 

The Ark got captured in battle and the sons of Eli died

That’s example Number 1:

Don’t Treat God like a Lucky Rabbit Foot when you’re living Opposite His Plan.

As a battle trophy, the Ark sat below the pagan god in the enemy temple. Not only did the statue of the pagan god fall on its face and crack it’s neck, the men of the city got  hemorrhoids. So they sent the ark away to another city and those men got hemorrhoids. So they sent the ark to a third city and all the guys who didn’t get hemorrhoids … you guessed it … died.

That’s example Number 2:

Don’t Put God Underneath Anything. Something’s gonna Break. 

So they sent the Ark back to Israel in a cart with some gold to atone for their mishandling. When the Israelites saw the ark coming back to them, they were ecstatic! They stopped their wheat harvest and made an offering to the LORD. Unfortunately, the ark was uncovered so a bunch of them died too.

I could go on but you get my point. God takes holiness seriously.

So when I heard The Fray casually drop the f-Bomb in concert Sunday night, I was rather dismayed. 

Yes, I understand the desire to be mainstream and relevant. 

Yes, I have said the f-bomb myself and I’m not proud of it.

But when you feel God has called you out of the "Christian music genre and into a secular market" you have a responsibility to Him and His calling. And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t include setting a bad example 

I disrespect God by accident all the time and He hasn’t struck me dead yet. That’s the miracle of His Grace. And when He tells me my sin, my heart hurts for disrespecting Him. I love Him too much to want to do that.

Don’t live life in the gray. White is White, God is Holy and as bearers of the Holy Spirit, we need to live in the Light as He is in the Light. 

This post was also inspired by Jessie Busboom’s post which you can read here:

http://JessicaBusboom.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/our-role-responsibility-in-worship-leading-christy-nockels/

More Than Talent

Heart. Passion. Sacrifice. These matter most.

Talent? I’m sorry … I am so over talent. Talent comes by the bucket full, I don’t care what your artform is.

Dedication? Now that’s rare. Self-sacrifice? Even rarer.

Mike Weaver of Big Daddy Weave will tell you no one is more surprised at his longevity in the music industry than he is. However when you watch BDW walk off the stage to pray with their audience members in the most unusual concert/worship service/ prayer service you could ever experience …  there is no surprise at all!

Contrast that with a girl who’s so into her own feelings she dances for her own satisfaction to the distraction of all observers.

Yeah I’m speaking of myself.

Before I criticize I’d better be honest:

When it comes to “self-expression for the purpose of self-satisfaction” I’m the biggest God-Glory thief I know.

It’s a hard thing to describe in print.

Much like dirty pictures, we all know self-pleasing art when we see it. It screams: “Look at ME! Am I not the most special thing you’ve ever seen/heard/wanted to smack upside the head!?!?!”

Cue upchuck.

So what am I to do when my stomach acid reviles so much “Self-Proclaimed Art?”

Look for the heart.

With heart comes passion, passion begets dedication, dedication multiplies talent.

There is nothing more inspiring than watching someone do something they were created to do. I don’t care if you’re selling shoes, making screws, designing code, fixing commodes  … doing something with heart makes it art.

It’s this thing called Excellence.

Sure not everybody is going to appreciate the beauty of your html code in its raw form but some will. That’s what friends are for.

So don’t put art in a box. Don’t put musicians or dancers on a pedestal. And don’t think that your work is any less important. It’s not. Filing those documents exactly the way you were shown will save somebody a big headache down the road. And yeah they might not know it was you who kept the office files so organized. In fact, they probably won’t.

But you will know.

And God will know.

Live life like its one big Art Project for Him and you’ll appreciate beauty in its most unexpected forms. 

Because Everyone has talent. The Question is what do we do with it?

Here’s some music from Big Daddy Weave: