Meg Living Inside Out

Saint Patty’s Day Heartache

The policeman stepped in my store to make a phone call. He finished his phonecall and commented how at least he’s earning money tonight, not spending it. 

I folded my arms and said this really wasn’t my scene. 

He patted my arm and said “Get a couple drinks in you and you’ll be fine.” Something to that effect. 

I don’t think he heard me the first time. 

I wanted to say how I’d rather be home blogging about how girls can avoid all the drama that comes with the clubbing life; I wanted to explain how all the music and self-medicinal inebriation reinforces dysfunctional living without God; I wanted to walk out among all those people and scream at the top of my lungs: 

“DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING? FULFILLMENT DOESN’T COME FROM THIS!!! YOU NEED JESUS TO HEAL YOUR HURTS!

HE’S THE WAY TO REAL PEACE!

HE IS THE TRUTH THAT WILL GIVE YOU PURPOSE!

THE LIFE HE GIVES IS THE ONLY LIFE WORTH LIVING!!!”

But I didn’t.

And the policeman headed back out into the cacophonous insanity

And I restrained my broken heart. 

The Terror of Kite-Flying

Yes, really… And I am an expert but Thursday I was terrified!

I drove to the beach with my $6 dollar fish kite from Bed Bath & Beyond, hooked it together, hoisted it in the air and refused to take my eyes off it. The intense ocean wind pulled so hard I feared it would loose or tear & nevermore be seen in air!

Why?

Why was I so afraid?!

I KNOW HOW TO FLY A KITE!

But this time … I realized how much was out of my control.

I only get to hold the string.

And I realized my fears weren’t for the kite … They are for my future.

There is SO much out of my control … The most I can do is “hold the string.” I don’t know where this blog/vlog/dream of dancefilm is going to take me … And I Am TERRIFIED of psychologically ripping from the strain or being torn to pieces by sharp branches I may meet.

What can I do? Besides hooking the kite string handle to my belt and laying in the sand … I can entrust this delicate pair of wings to the one who entrusted them to me.

This dream isn’t mine. As much as I may love it, it was Never mine. This dream is a work prepared for me by Him who knit me together in my mother’s womb for such a time as this.

With a Lover of my soul like that … How can I fear? Especially over such an exciting thing as flying a kite? :-) <3 

Pumpkin Bread Pudding for My OrganicValley Friends

This is like … the Yummiest Comfort Food EVER!

PUMPKIN BREAD PUDDING  1-dish mix and bake

INGREDIENTS: 
2 beaten eggs
2 cups Super Yummy Milk!
1/2 C. brown sugar  (or white with 1Tbsp of Buttermilk powder)
1/4 C. canned Pumpkin (unused portions can be refrigerated or frozen)
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla or less if desired
1/2 tsp. cinnamon    
1/8 tsp. nutmeg
2 C. dry bread cubes - white or whole wheat.  (Can toast 3 or 4 slices before starting and they’ll be dry by the time you put them in the dish. Thick-sliced bread may work better - like French or Italian.  Unseasoned Croutons may also work.)

PREHEAT oven @ 350 F.  Lightly GREASE 8 or 9” baking dish.  ADD ingredients to dish in order listed. MIX well, making sure no egg is recognizable AND the sugar is dissolved. ADD bread cubes and submerge them so they become moist. SPRINKLE with more cinnamon.  SET in larger pan ( I use my broiler-pan base) and add ~1” of HOT water to the broiler pan.  

BAKE ~45 min. until knife inserted BETWEEN center and edge comes out clean.   Can also be done in individual ramekins - 4 to 6?- pouring liquid in each and then addingbread cubes.  Baking time will vary.  (Ice cream or whipped cream also are options…..)

Have a great day!

Do You See It? Unsafe Men, pt 2

I was telling a gal at work about my last blog, she immediately recognized Dave’s comment as inappropriate. I was thankful someone agreed with me. Girls these days would take his remark as a COMPLIMENT.

What does that say about our ability to recognize an unsafe man?

Girls, guess how old Dave was? What if he was 25? Would his comment feel normal to you?

In actuality, he’s in his 50’s and I’m sure you’re now thinking “dirty old man.” If you are, can I challenge you to change your perspective? There’s NOTHING inherently “dirty” about old men.

“Dirty” is a way of thinking not a demographic profile, so technically anyone male or female past the age of puberty can find themselves engaging in “dirty” thinking. Myself included. I had to practice self-control last night in case you’re wondering.

So here’s my 2nd thought on avoiding unsafe men:

Learn to recognize “Dirt” in your mind & in the mouths of others

Let the awkward discomfort of the more innocent be a sign to you. If it doesn’t sound right figure out why. If you’re thinking about something you’d be embarrassed to say in front of a child, why keep thinking about it?!

We can’t change what people say, we can only change how we understand and that starts with recognizing & changing our own thoughts first.

Unsafe Men in Frequent Places, Part 1

I’m visiting a new pizza place by my work for lunch as I’m writing this. The owner stopped in my store & left a menu offering 10% off for local employees.

I’m pretty hesitant to get to know him. Let me explain why.

While I worked for Starbucks I had a customer named Dave. He would come in for coffee then sit in the mall and read the paper. When I started spending my 15 minute breaks near the fountains with my thoughts & a venti foamy vanilla steamer, Dave started coming over & making conversation.

He was friendly and I was lonely so I didn’t mind at first. But then I started to dread going on break. My coworkers noticed that my breaks started to stretch to twenty minutes. Then it happened.

At the most recent performance I had some beautiful pictures of me in a tutu, alone and also partnering Morgan Stinnett.

I showed them to Dave unwittingly.

“Sexy!” was the first word out of his mouth.

That caught me off guard.

For the next year and a half, I spent the rest of my breaks cloistered in the tiny backroom. I didn’t know what to do but avoidance was the only thing I knew TO do.

When I told the current manager about this uncomfortable situation, he gave me a blank stare. Living far from family without close friends in the area … the LAST thing I needed was a blank stare.

Idea No. 1: Find a Safe Community. Choose Who you Hang With!

If we are getting our “people fix” in a community that is trustworthy … we’re much less likely to stay connected to the “Daves.” I feel safe at church because I Know Who to Go to for Help. Men Particularly.

I am still very careful. Church is a hospital and those who realize the extent of their sickness are the healthy ones. I talk to everybody but I only allow a person into my circle after I’ve evaluated their character.

When brainstorming at church with the director of Shine, people we both knew kept walking through. Do you have a place like that?

So why am I not going back to the pizza parlor? I’m not adding it to my list of “safe places” because the owner isn’t trustworthy. Has nothing to do with the pizza.

Papa & Pizza. Guess Which I love More?!

(Hint: Pizza can’t hug. Not even Mushroom.)

Identification: When Men become Moths

Moths flit around porch lights as if their life depended on it. Ironically, they get fried often. In the real world - with women being attractive and men being attracted - most often it is the women who are in danger.

DISCLAIMER: I am not here to man-bash; I’m here to be realistic. I know how badly women can and have hurt men; I’ll get to that … right now I’m talking about what makes a douchebag a douchebag and how women can change their own behavior so her “acquaintance-ship” with a semi-douchebag can remain respectful and cordial.

I believe if Both Genders strive to be our true selves with self-controlled maturity, we will challenge each other to stay on that path and define Masculinity & Femininity correctly.

With that said, let me proceed in identifying “MOTHS”

Men
Out of
Their
HeadS

Sort of like “Off their rockers” and “out of their minds” combined. Unfortunately the really dangerous ones never look like that in the beginning:

Warm. Friendly. Encouraging. Supportive.

That’s how it starts.

They can be of any age, social stature, or marital status. They’re really nice gentlemen whom you wouldn’t mind keeping the retail doors open for a little past closing time. They’re in the coffee shop every morning with compliments, making you feel good about yourself. They even give wonderful hugs on really bad days.

Now I realize I just described The Perfect Gentleman who us girls dream about by going to chick flicks and reblogging/repinning romantic pictures on Tumblr/ Pinterest. And I know for a fact there are some AMAZING men out there, patiently trying to find a trustworthy woman. Notice I wrote “trustworthy,” not “beautiful.” The latter follows the former. Read my earlier thoughts on “Becoming a Ruby Lady” for more.

Now I’ve met MEN.

And I’ve met MOTHS.

The difference?

Motives.

The only way to discern motives is to give them enough time and space to allow them to make idiots of themselves. Again, I’m not talking about the usual cute/awkward/funny/nervous idiot doings all men occasionally partake in. I’m talking about the inappropriate innuendos that come out of their mouth revealing what’s been on their mind at odd hours of the night. They’re not practicing crochet!

And what’s the secret to allowing themselves to reveal their true thoughts and motives?

Friendly distance.

Don’t talk about your dreams; talk about the weather.

Don’t overly sympathize with their life drama; get back to folding shirts.

Just keep looking at those shirts and saying “mm.” They’ll eventually get the idea.

Basically keep your emotional clothes on.

Finally, … and this is so important …

DO NOT ACCEPT FAVORS!!!

Remember the child-catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? Lots of free candy. I was so scared I hid in the bathroom. What does this look like in the 21st Century?

No extra discounts!
No free career advice!
No private lunch to “catch-up!”
and NO FREE COFFEE!!!

If you think I’m going overboard, I’m not. If you think this is easy for me, it isn’t.

Why am I so strict? Once you accept a gift, you owe them something.

Nothing is free.

And yeah, I’ve missed out on a lot of Starbucks.

What do I have to show for it?

I am free.

As former morphine addict Mrs. Dubose said in To Kill a Mockingbird, she wanted to die “beholden to nothing and nobody.” Imagine living that free!

Now I get that sometimes you’ll need help with a tire, advice on a situation and help moving … there’s plenty of times it’s ok to accept help, just don’t make it a habit with any one man, married or single.

All men want to feel needed and every time you accept their help, they are bonding with you and you are bonding with them.

If one or both parties have self-centered motives (examine yourself first ladies!) somebody is going to get hurt.

So don’t give in girls, please? Keep your emotional clothes on and your coffee loving heart to yourself and you’re going to be just fine.

If you have any thoughts/comments/life experience you want to share or you think I left something out, please comment or email me! MegDanceMail at Gmail .Com!

Next week I’m going to blog about defending yourself from moths at work & school. If you have any questions, thoughts, concerns or stories shoot me an email!

:-) <3 ?